Wednesday, July 13, 2016

A House United - Book Review

By Nicholeen Peck
 After being frustrated with one of my stubborn children, I decided to look for some parenting advice.  If your children are like mine, they didn't come with a user manual.   I have one child that just likes to agitate everyone he can because he thinks its funny to see his oldest sister or brother cry.  As a parent I didn't really know how to discipline this child, nothing works with him as he is strong willed and fights me every step of the way.  Least you think he is a miserable child, he is also my hardest working child that is willing to jump in and help with yard work, farm work or whatever it is we are doing and he is happy to do it.  So as long as I can find something productive for him to do, he is happy and a joy to be around.  

In my search for a parenting book I can across Nicholeen Peck and her Self Government book.  Self government is something I have always tried to teach my children so I bought the book off of Amazon.  I thought that it was a little expensive, but I bought it any way because I figured its worth it if it makes family life more enjoyable.  

Introduction found in the book:

"Is your home in crisis? Do your children never do what they are told? Do you find yourself completely overwhelmed and hating to interact with your children? Do your children treat you with disrespect and cause contention at home? Are you out of control of your emotions as a parent too? If any of these descriptions sound like your house, then you might be in crisis and you will definitely benefit from reading this book. It is written for you. This book is also written for people who don‘t want to ever have a home like I have described above and for parents who want to have an effectively communicating family right from the very beginning of parenthood. Parenting: A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government. This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach their children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier. Even if families simply implement some of Nicholeen’s tested parenting principles their family life will improve. Nicholeen’s candid story telling style and experience with tough teens makes the book usable and a joy to read for all. Even if you have heard Nicholeen speak before you can’t pass this book up. It promises new stories, examples, valuable question and answer and further insights never before shared. Read mote at"

What is self government?  According to the book "it is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation, and possessing the knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them." I have a child that use to blame me for all his bad choices.  It would drive me crazy because I wanted him to take responsibility for his actions and to learn from his mistakes.   As soon as I started saying "no you made that choice, you chose to do that and now you are responsible for making it right or fixing what needs to be fixed."  I think after hearing that enough he decided not to blame me any more.  It is so important to help our children see the consequences of their actions and to realize the choices they make will either have a negative or positive effect on their lives. 

Nicoleen shows how to teach self government to our children with a few steps to follow: first have a family mission, second, an effective family government, third, learn effective communication skills, fourth, the feeling in the home has to reflect the family mission and good character.  As you read the book, you will learn how to implement each of these steps into your every day life.   I'll be honest, it does take effort to set up your family following the steps.  It is something you have to think about and follow through with, but as you do you will see more peace in your home. 

One of my favorite quotes in the book is: "There is a reason your children are in your home. God knows you have what it takes to parent your children. He has faith in you. It is our job as parents to find out what strengths God has given us that we are suppose to teach to our children to bless their lives and help them fulfill their life missions. You have greatness! Everyone does." I needed that reminder, being a parent isn't the easiest thing in the world. Some days I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for my children, but knowing God placed them in my home, gives me greater determination to teach them correct principles. 

The book contains a chapter on knowing your children.  I found this information so helpful in understanding my children.   Types of people include: talkers, listeners, planners, live in the moment, line drivers, road makers, detail oriented, and big picture oriented.  Learning what type your child is will aid you in understanding their desires and how to best help them be great. 

I would recommend this book to anyone with the desire to teach your children self government.  It is well worth the read even if you choose not to implement all of Nicholeen's ideas. For a parenting book it shows you the way to set up an effective family government and how to change your heart along with how to change the hearts of your children. 

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